On The Cutting Room Floor
by PuppyBekaCooper
Summary: a series of drabbles about scenes i would have changed. dont like, dont read! Reviews are appriceated. all characters, all parings, only Tortall, i HATE Circle of MAgic! NO FLAMES! certifiable CRACKFIC!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: ok, so this happened tonight when I was ahem, "sleeping" AKA reading under the covers, sooo, these are alternate scenes in the Tortall books, WARNING: THEY WILL NOT BE IN ANY SORT OF ORDER, AT ALL, I MIGHT SWITCH BOOKS AND SERIES ON W WHIM, BEWARE

A/N: ok, so this happened tonight when I was ahem, "sleeping" AKA reading under the covers, sooo, these are alternate scenes in the Tortall books, WARNING: THEY WILL NOT BE IN ANY SORT OF ORDER, AT ALL, I MIGHT SWITCH BOOKS AND SERIES ON W WHIM, BEWARE! THIS IS A CERTIFILEABLE CRACK FIC!!

ON WITH THE FIC!!

Page, POTS, chapter 8, messages,

Kel, when did you turn into a real girl? (PS this will not be exact, I don't feel like typing it exact, its just supposed to et the idea across, if you want to you can read it its on PG 125-126)

"**Say Kel, will my lord let me sponsor my cousins? One of my cousins? This is Iden of Vikison and Warric of Mandash, they're both my cousins. This is the tremendous girl I told you about, Keladry of Mindelan"**

**Kel rose and bowed, trying not to grin at Owen's tumbling chatter. When she straightened she was startled to see his eyes bulge "Mithros's spear, Kel! When did you turn into a real girl?**

"**You said she was a girl already" muttered one of Owens cousins**

"**But not a girl-girl, with a chest and all!"**

**Lalasa had talked her into donning lighter cotton shirts, that draped like silk "I've been a girl for a while Owen"**

"**I never realized, it's not like there melons or anything, there just noticeable"**

I had to look away, that was when she realized Neal was standing in the door, about to speak: "Owen! What are you saying? How could you not notice such a beautiful and perfect specimen of beauty!" he drawled, and looked at me as he said "we need to teach him tact."

It was then when I found my voice again I took a deep breath, and said "Owen, why don't I give you a…refresher course on the practice courts?" I reached up to grab my Glaive as Owen paled and was at a loss for words as I turned after removing my Glaive and grabbing my sword, I found Neal standing behind me, and gasped, him being so close still did strange things to me. Neal smiled as he looked down at me

He slowly turned to Owen and said "its really not that hard, she is a beautiful girl, I think you're the only one not to notice, or at least, that last one."

he then turned to me as I started towards the door, and grabbed me by the waist, spun me around, and in one swift, graceful movement, leaned me back, (just like in the old movies) kissed me gently on the lips, and as he did, righted me to a normal standing position, and blushing crimson, released me.

For a second I stood there, pole axed. Then, I raised my hand to my lips, just covering them with my fingers, stunned, then thanks to my Yamani training, quickly recovered and whispered softly "wow", I then looked around the room, and to the doorway to discover our little argument had drawn quite the crowd, the Prince was standing there looking as stunned as I felt, Cleon was shaking with what I thought was rage, from the expression on his face, he was crimson with fury. Seaver was looking behind him at Merric, who was lying on the floor, I think he fainted and I said,

"Is Merric ok? Neal, you dolt you're the healer, see if he's ok." I gave him a stern look, one that said, 'we WILL talk about this later.' And he grinned at me sheepishly, and loped gracefully over to where Merric was lying, while he was walking Dark Green fire collected around his hands as he prepared to scan Merric for injury, as he neared Merric he kneeled next to him on the floor and placed his slender fingers on Merric's temples, and a few seconds later looked up,

"He's fine, he just fainted, he'll have a bruise, but he'll be fine."

i bent down to pick up my Glaive from where I drooped it on the floor, and turned to Owen and said

"we have some unfinished business, you and I, go get your sword, I'll meet you on the practice courts as soon as you get it, and no dawdling!" I brushed past the group of people at my door, with jump at my heels, and Neal put his arm around my shoulders as we turned down the hall to go to the Practice courts


	2. Geroge, not Jonathan!

A/N: this is a series of ONESHOTS until farther notice

**A/N: this is a series of ONESHOTS until farther notice. Just making that clear. **

**This takes place on Alanna's 17****th**** birthday, when Alanna and Jon kiss, and thus start there "relationship":barfs blue ice in an urn: GROSSS!! So, I decided to instead, write MY version, AKA, a BETTER ONE**

**Jonathan lifted the gold charm off her throat, examining it. "what's this?" he asked. His voice was soft and warm.**

**Alanna was thankful for the darkness that kept him from seeing her blush. "It's a charm to—keep me from having children" she stammered **

**Jon chuckled. "Have you ever tried it out?" he asked, putting his free arm around her. Alanna braced herself against his chest.**

"**What's **_**that**_** supposed to mean?" She asked gruffly. **

"**This." He kissed her again and again. **

Alanna panicked. She didn't want anyone kissing her, much less Jonathan! He was her best friend, not her lover, after a moment Jon stopped kissing her, only to start unlacing her bodice.

Alanna shoved him away, terrified and whispered in a strangled, scared voice "Jon no!"

She grabbed at the few laces he'd managed to get undone, and re-laced them with shaking fingers. She then looked up at him, and drew back her arm, and neatly, with all her strength, punched his jaw. She was satisfied to hear a nice, wonderful crunching sound as she did.

Jon swore, a lot, but Alanna didn't know for how long, she was already walking away, back to her room, crying. As soon as she entered her room, she ripped off her clothes, and threw then into the trunk at the end of her bed where they usually lived, and chose her usual city garb, she was going to see George, he'd know what to do, she thought grimly as she laced up her special corset and put on her more plain city clothes.

Soon Alanna had hitched Moonlight outside The Dancing Dove, and was climbing into Georges, rooms, she couldn't seem to stop crying, but thankfully in the darkness nobody could see her face clearly, and if anyone could see, they didn't make any comments about it, as she slipped into Georges room and turned around, he was waiting for her, laying on his back across his bed, playing with a particularly deadly looking dagger. he looked when he heard her sob, just a second after she had entered.

Georges face softened, and he took one good look at her and quickly strode across the room, and gathered her into his strong embrace, stroking her fiery hair as she sobbed into his shirt.

George moved his hands to her shoulders, and soothingly proceeded to rub her back, and asked "Ah, lass, what happened?" as he pressed his lips softly to the top of her head.

Alanna tilted her head up to face him with tears still streaming down her face and whispered: "Oh, George, I was horrible, I was walking through the garden in a dress, and—and he just started kissing me," George froze, fury written all over his features "and I didn't want him to," as Alanna said this, he drew her even tighter to his and as she finished she took a ragged breath. "And he wanted to go farther, and I tried to undress me, and I was able to stop him, but oh, George, It was awful!" and with that she buried her face into his, hard well muscled chest.

George gathered her small, strong frame into his arms, in a protective manner, and sat down with Alanna curled up in his arms on his bed, shifting her so he could see his face, all the rage and fury had disappeared, and his face and eyes only conveyed love and concern.

"Lass, will ye not tell me who it was?" he asked kindly

Alanna took a few ragged, calming breaths, working up the courage to say it out loud, and muttered into Georges shoulder "Jon."

George froze. "What did you say, Lass?"

Alanna looked into his face and said, as quietly as she could, "Jon." She paused as George froze and his eyes got hard, and she hurried to say "I think I broke his Jaw, though, when I punched him, there was a definite crunch." George Smiled at that, and gave her light kiss in the top of her head.

"I love you Alanna," he said quietly as Alanna relaxed in the circle of his arms "I would never do that to you."

Alanna turned and shifted in his arms, so she was in a sitting position, on his legs with his arms still wrapped loosely around her thin waist. She slowly, tentatively, placed her small hands on either side of his face, and leaned in carefully pressing her soft lips on his warm ones, and as their kiss increased in passion, she buried her hands in his shoulder length, thick brown hair.

Alanna woke up the next morning, with George's arm around her, and feeling very content, and happy. As she moved to wipe the sleep out of her bleary eyes, George woke up as well, and wrapped both of his arms around her as he kissed her hair. While hugging her tight to him. Alanna groaned.

"what is it m'darlin'?" he asked as he spoke into her hair.

"Ugh! I have to go deal with Jon now." Alanna told him as she tried to escape the circle of his arms. When George let her go he watched as his lover hunted to find the various articles of clothing scattered around the room that had been discarded in the passion the night before.

"What are ye goin' t'do?" he asked as he shifted to lean back on his elbows and continue to watch her.

Alanna looked up at George from the hunt for the tunic she had been wearing the night before and said "I honestly have no notion of what I'll do."

George thought for a moment, as she continued to look for her clothes. "You _could _always get another Knight-Master, but I'm not sure how His Grace would take it." He said reluctantly.

"George, you're a genius!" with that she pulled her tunic over her head, the last piece of clothing left, and strode over to kiss him. She then whispered in a low voice: "I'll be back later tonight, around the 11th bell, unless you want to meet me at he palace…?" she trailed off.

"Ah, lass, I think you'll just have to come here, if y'do get a new Knight-Master, I imagine ye will get t'have a different room, and while I'm good, I'm not that good."

Alanna sighed. "All right, I'll see you then" and climbed out of the window.

After Alanna had sneaked back into her rooms and changed into proper palace grab, and proceeded to try to go to Duke Gareth's office. But as soon as she opened her door, Jon was there, waiting for her, Alanna kept walking, as he followed behind her, talking relentlessly, she really wasn't listening, until she came to Duke Gareth door, "Alan, where were you last night? I was worried about you, I didn't mean to upset you I—"

"Jon, go away, I need to talk to Duke Gareth, and I would appreciate it if I didn't have to break your Jaw twice, your hard head broke my finger" she noticed he had not seen a healer; his face was swollen and purple.

"Fine." And Jon stalked off.

Alanna knocked on Duke Gareth's Study door, and he called, "Come in!"

Carefully Alanna slid into the room, and quietly closed the door behind her. "Ah, Alan, I must confess, I did not expect to see you today!" the Duke said cheerfully.

"Well, Sir, I needed to ask you something…."

"What is it Lad?"

"I wish to have a new Knight-Master."

Duke Gareth frowned, and gave her a look that just screamed 'tell me'

"His Royal Highness and I have…Differences I do not think can be resolved."

"Is that so?"

"Yes your grace"

"Then you must request that Jonathan release you from his service, and then you may be free to practice as you wish until you get a new Knight Master."

Alanna Bowed. "Thank you your grace"

"Fine! Fine Alanna! See if I care, most boys would KILL to have me for there knight-master!"

"Well seeing as I'm not a boy, I don't, and wont, and seeing as there are soooo many squires, you can just ask one of them!" she whispered scathingly.

&

As Alanna lay in bed next to George, she thought of how the smallest decision can change everything

!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&

A/N, I REALLY like this one! The ending is a little weak but I don't care, I just wanted to get it done! What do you think? Should I make a whole new Fic out of it? I'm seriously considering the idea….Vote, and let me know in your reviews!


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